Scene And Heard: January 23, 2014

1. Bad Case of ‘Rod’ Rage

Darren Prince, agent of former basketball star and all-around crazy person Dennis Rodman, announced Rodman’s plans to check into rehab later this month, but declined to reveal which facility will treat him. After having an image-damaging meltdown on CNN while in North Korea this past December, Rodman formally apologized, saying he had been drinking and was under pressure. No reports in yet as to why  Dennis Rodman is so popular with the totalitarian regime.

2. Return Of The Lohan

Last Monday, 27-year-old Lindsay Lohan announced her plans to produce and star in an independent film called Inconceivable. No, the film is not about her “inconceivable” return to sanity, but rather a woman who goes on a journey to “reclaim something she’s lost”-and we’re not quite sure what that means. Lohan says she “would die” if Jessica Lange would consider a role in the film.

3. Zamata Joins SNL Cast

Sasheer Zamata, a 27-year-old comedian and improv performer, made her Saturday Night Live debut last weekend as the first black female SNL actress to appear as a regular on the show since 2007. Zamata was hired earlier this month during the peak of the criticism concerning SNL‘s lack of ethnic diversity. Zamata is one of just four black women cast members in the show’s 39-season history.

4. Friends With Benefits

Longtime friends and neighbors Sting and Paul Simon are currently preparing for an upcoming tour together, which begins Feb. 8 in Houston, Texas . 72-year-old Simon and 62-year-old Sting promise a stellar show and plan to take turns singing each other’s hits. Prune juice and multi-vitamins are a likely sell at intermission.

5. Dogs And Dos Equis

Actor and dog-lover Jonathon Goldsmith, more commonly known as “the most interesting man in the world,” announced his support for the Morris Animal Foundation, hoping to raise funds to fight cancer in dogs. While PETA members across the globe have yet to rush to their local liquor store to purchase a case of Dos Equis, Goldsmith’s latest move is most interesting indeed.