This TU/TD Is Not A No Flex Zone

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Nutella and Coffee Cake: We had a coffee cake lying around our kitchen for the last few days. It was unloved and uneaten. Then, one of our roommates had the brilliant idea to pull the Nutella out of the cabinet, and oh boy, did we go to town on that augmented coffee cake. It might be bad for your heart, but it sure is good for your soul.

Would You Rather?: This has to be our new favorite game. It is possibly one of the easiest games to play—there’s no equipment required. It goes like this: would you rather have leg-sized fingers or finger-sized legs? Would you rather go the rest of your life without Internet or always have Nicholas Cage five feet away from you? The possibilities are endless and believe us, you learn quite a bit about the inner depths of your friends’ minds through this game.

Sober Guidelines: Sometimes, it’s a good idea to set some parameters ahead of times. You know, for safety’s sake.

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Burnt Pizza: Sometimes those parameters are ignored.

Scoop-necks for Men: Because we love seeing all that extra chest hair.

iPhone Passcodes: Come on, we get that you don’t want other people prying into your life, but we’re all trying to play songs at this party.

Calorie Counting Apps: One of our roommates recently started using a calorie counting app. We learned this when we returned to our room the other day to find him scanning the barcode on his power bars. Come on, dude, Spring Break isn’t until March.

Celebrity Divorces: #MariahCarey #NickCannon #BrokenDreams

Flooding: The number of emails we receive on a given day is overwhelming. It is a deluge comparable to a combination of the flood unleashed by God to destroy the world and the downpour of Nemo. Yeah, we get it—the scheduling conveniences that come with email cannot be denied. We can’t imagine tying to get everything we get done via email through the phone. You can’t call seven people at once, after all. But come on, give us a break. We want to sleep at some point.

That One Random Dude Who Put on Intense Dubstep: We don’t want that here.

No Flex Zone: We don’t want this either. Just let us flex if we want to.

Censorship: You wouldn’t believe the kinds of things that we would print here, if we were allowed to….

Featured Image by Jordan Pentaleri / Heights Editor

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