Disclaimer: This is super serious. Deadly serious. Please take this seriously.
Austin Tedesco: Oh my goodness, Connor. It looks like Halloween has snuck up on us again this year, and I don’t have a costume yet.
Connor Mellas: Damn it all, I can’t be Ferris Bueller for the third year in a row.
Austin Tedesco: No, you most certainly cannot. Hey! How about we come up with some good Boston College-themed costumes. That can’t be too hard.
Connor Mellas: This cruel world never stops asking me for help, but I’ll never stop answering the call.
Sexy Vampire Father Leahy
The passion of the undead meets Jesuit ideals in this classic mash-up. The beauty of this costume comes from its simplicity and flexibility—90 percent of the people you’ll encounter have never seen Father Leahy, so it’s your word against theirs.
This one is super easy. Just find a box and cut it into a heart and put it over your body. Wear all red underneath. Don’t be soft and cut out one of those cute little fake hearts. No, we want a heart with all of the vessels and stuff. That’s what a tough family man would do for Halloween.
Optional accessory: Shaved head.
Go for the literal take on this one. Dress as a disgusting, disease-carrying rodent, the kind that scurry around behind Jerry Remy’s. People will totally get it. But watch out for the sexy cats that might want to get you! Just kidding, they’ll be repulsed like everyone else.
Chris O’Donnell Wishing BC A Happy Birthday In Character As Robin
“Happy Birthday Boston College.” Psh, we’ve heard it 1,000 times in that commercial they used to play at football and hockey games. But have you heard Dick Grayson, aka Robin, wishing BC a happy birthday? You certainly have not. We certainly would like to, though.
Non-optional accessory: Plastic nipples.
You can go as us! If you have a Halloween party on a Thursday or Monday cover yourself in newspapers. If you have a party on any other day of the week just stay home and chill on your computer.
Someone With An Actual Meatball Obsession
Fill your pockets with meatballs and carry around a moderately sized container of extra sauce. You are a meatball zombie, addicted to the glorious Italian delicacy. Make a scene by devouring a handful of meatballs in the middle of a Mod or bar.
Just dress like a giant piece of collapsing garbage and pay a rotund Italian man to leave threatening voicemails on your phone about taking out the trash. Bonus points if you can get your friend to dress up as a cop and show up every 26 minutes.
Run over everyone in your path and then lay some mind-bending philosophy on them. No one will be mad, don’t worry. You’re Andre Williams, damnit.
Optional accessory: Thigh implants.
All you need is a shirt that says Shwayze and a dwindling sense of relevancy.
Conte Forum During A Basketball Game
“Hey, you totally skipped my Halloween party!”
“No I didn’t. No wonder you didn’t see me, though. I was dressed as Conte Forum During A Basketball Game.”
Jeb Thomas Of Jebbit Fame
The namesake of BC’s favorite (and mostly forgotten) online advertising startup that came to prominence around the peak of the KONY2012 era may no longer be a part of the company, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a rockin’ Halloween by dressing like him. Any shirt and any pants should do the trick.
CSOM Student On Interview Day
Throw on your nicest suit (because we know you have more than one nice suit). Carry around a resume that is no more than 80 percent true. Randomly scream to anyone who will listen that EY and PwC and MMG and Ca$h Money Audit$ only passed on you because they know you’re guaranteed to get better offers.
WARNING: Don’t do this. It is offensive to treat someone’s culture as a costume. Be more considerate than that #MenAndWomenForOthers.
You won’t pull some robes together and spend all night lighting things on fire. You won’t. (We might.)
Alternative St. Mary’s Option: Wear half a costume and promise everyone the other half is under construction and will definitely be finished by the end of the night. You swear.