Laundry Thieves, We Are Looking For You

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BC Sightings in the News: It’s always a nice surprise when we sight Boston College being cited in a Journal or Times article. It really warms the cockles of our hearts to know that respected news sources value the research produced at BC. Most frequently, articles cite the Center for Work and Family or the Center for Retirement Research, but occasionally there are others referenced. Recently, there was an entire Economist article about the work of BC economists Tayfun Sonmez and Utku Unver on a matching theory for lung lobes.

Comet Landing: An achievement in 21st century space exploration. The Philae probe from the European Space Agency landed on a comet.

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Comet Landing: Really, though, after 50 years of space travel, we thought we would have something more than landing on a cosmic pebble hurtling through space. We kinda expected men on Mars, a moon colony, or hyper-speed. You let us down, NASA.

Laundry Thieves: Did your mothers not teach you any manners or basic human decency? We understand—the laundry room is a rough place. One could compare it to the African savanna, but this is not Mean Girls so we won’t. But let it be known that one could. Look, we know how the game is played. If you are not in the room when the buzzer on your washer or dryer dings, then you must accept that some stranger will likely be handling your clothing and putting it on top of a nearby washer. That’s fine. If you are particular about your clothing, then be at the machine when the cycle ends. It’s as simple as that. What we cannot accept is the theft of clothing out of the dryer. There is no excuse for this. We have set an extremely low bar here, and yet you laundry thieves out there (and we know you are out there) somehow manage to fall short. Give us our leggings back.

Traffic: Sometimes it’s the most mundane things that get on our nerves. Normally in circumstances like this, TU/TD is apt to curse the Fates, and bemoan the hell into which they have placed us. In this case, though, we don’t believe we can do so, as this malady affects all of the other drivers, as well. Instead of launching said invective and crying on Zeus to punish the Fates, we are going to offer you insight into the mind of the responsible party—Trafficus, god of gridlock. You weren’t trying to go anywhere today, were you? Of course not. You just like sitting on the freeway watching the minutes on your radio clock tick away, while everything is stopped outside, don’t you? You know what there haven’t been enough of recently? Seven-car pileups. Those really are a fun way to start the morning. I know what else would go great with that broken stoplight—a stalled car on a two-lane road. That’ll really get them. Perhaps throw a mentally unstable person streaking on the service road. It’s provocative—it get’s the people going … well, in this case, it will keep them in one place. But I’m sure it will lead to parents facing some uncomfortable questions from their kids. All in a day’s work. Or something like that.

Featured Image by David Zalubowski / AP Photo

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The best and worst of Boston College and more. Follow us on Twitter @BCTUTD.

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