BC Crushes Syracuse (Told Via Texts With My Mom)

The following is a simulated text conversation with my mom about the Boston College vs. Syracuse football game today. While technically fictional, it is entirely based on our interactions from the eight other games I covered this season. All words are purely hypothetical, while all sentiments are undoubtedly heartfelt.

Today 4:34 PM

Mom: How was the game? Did you get there in time or have to rush!?

Me: Everything went fine, writing my story now.

Mom: Did the good guys win? Was following you on Twitter but then I stopped halfway through.

Me: BC won 28-7. It was easy to see why ’Cuse is 3-9. You can’t do much with eight first downs over four quarters.

Mom: Heard there was a fight, what happened? I’m not surprised, I think Syracuse is just nasty. They always played dirty when Villanova would face them in basketball. I remember the whole school rooting against them our senior year. Yuck.

Me: Jeez, you’ve told me that a good 600 times, mom, but yeah, there was a bit of a dust up and ’Cuse’s bench cleared. BC tried to rush across the field to get into it, and Manny Asprilla (BC’s best cornerback) nearly got his head smushed. Officials ejected a player who wasn’t even in the game, Ryan Sloan. Dude didn’t have a helmet on. There’s definitely no love lost between these teams. Josh Bordner was still fired up about it after the game, said he knew they’d be coming in arrogant.

Mom: WOW. Btw, did you remember to put the sandwiches and milk in the fridge before you left???

Me: Yes.

Today 4:51 PM

Mom: OK, good. Don’t mean to nag! What happened to my favorite player, the one you always write about?

Me: Sherm?

Mom: No, what’s his name? Oh, the quarterback. Tyler. I like him. How’d he do?

Me: Murphy played steady all game. He took a few rough sacks but really didn’t have great protection. He looked nice in the air, actually, and stayed away from the run for most of the game.

Mom: I’m glad. I like him. What about that little guy from St. Joe’s, is he still playing?

Me: Oh, now you mean Alston. Sherm’s killing it, he roped in a nice touchdown today. He’s crazy fast and shifty, one of the most entertaining guys on the field. Chip on his shoulder and it shows every time he’s out there.

Mom: That’s great!! I remember reading about him when he was in high school. Can’t believe he’s doing so awesome! Did you eat well this time?

Me: Nope, as usual: Popcorn, pretzels, caffeine, and chowder.

Today 5:10 PM

Mom: UGH. You’re going to be sorry one day, your metabolism isn’t going to last forever. Just wait till you’re 40. I’m serious, you need to do that food diary. Whatever happened to the running back you wrote that really long story about?

Me: Myles Willis?

Mom: Yeah, he sounded like such a nice kid. Is he still around?

Me: Willis still plays, but not as much as I thought he would. He exploded on the first play of the game and tore off a 95-yard touchdown on the opening kickoff. He fumbled later on, though. Ups and downs, and all that stuff. Addazio is really high on all of his backs.

Me: Remember that kid that dropped the ball against Clemson? Tyler Rouse got a piece of redemption today. He scored a dagger touchdown in the fourth quarter to put the game completely out of reach. Addazio couldn’t say enough nice things about him after. Check it out:

Emily Fahey / Heights Editor
Emily Fahey / Heights Editor

Mom: Did a lot of fans show up to watch? It must have been brutally cold out there. I would have needed my Starbucks for sure!

Me: It was a good day to be in the press box, no doubt. Barely any students showed up, the corner of the section was totally empty. A decent amount of regular fans came and froze for four quarters.

Today 5:23 PM

Mom: Saw they missed another field goal. What’s wrong with those guys???

Me: Underdeveloped ankles and overdeveloped toes.

Mom: Hah. What did the coach say after the game, did you make him yell at you again like after Clemson?

Me: Nope, but it was classic Addazio, check it out:

Me: “We just went out there and won an old-fashioned, old-school game, which is just fine by me because they all count the same. Seven wins is seven wins”

Me: He’s already focused on getting back out and recruiting, too:

Me: “We’ve gotta go 10,000 miles an hour here the next two weeks. That’s what it’s all about. It’s equally important, right? Building the program, the most important thing is recruiting.”

Today 5:46 PM

Mom: Did you have fun?

Me: Yup.

Mom: Story coming out okay?

Me: Eh.

Today 6:00 PM

Mom: Don’t forget to exercise.

Today 6:10 PM

Mom: And send me your Christmas list!!!!!!

About Connor Mellas 85 Articles
Connor Mellas is a senior at Boston College. He used to be Sports Editor. Now he wanders aimlessly through the void. Follow him on Twitter @MellasHeights.