O’Neill Plaza Christmas Tree – As you walk across campus during these last two weeks, head held low, tears dripping down your shame-flushed cheeks, knowing you still have three final papers, five tests and two group projects to deal with, it’s nice to see this occasional reminder that Winter Break is just around the corner. The Christmas tree illuminating O’Neill Plaza in a multi-colored cornucopia of Christmas cheer serves to brighten the spirit and helps you briefly forget your daily struggles.
Comfortable Socks – If there’s one item of clothing that matters above all others, it’s the sock. High-quality, comfortable socks are the difference between walking around all day with your feet swaddled in the heavenly silk of sweet, sweet, majesty and having your feet slow-roasted over the burning pit of podiatric discomfort and stank. So next time you’re thinking about buying new clothes, forget about pants (no one wears them anymore anyway), and buy some luxurious socks.
Cleaning the Lint Screen – Before drying our clothes, we always relish the opportunity to peel away a thick layer of lint from the screen. As we pull the screen from its nest in the underbelly of the dryer and slowly pick away at the lint, watching it fall peacefully into the trash can, it’s almost like a cathartic experience. Our troubles fade away as we grow hypnotized by the pre-drying-cycle process, and we pretend to ignore the other people in the laundry room who are slowly edging away from us.
People who stare at you – You’re walking to class, backpack slung over your shoulder, hair streaked and stylized flat against your skull with motor oil and petroleum jelly, and a neutral expression on your face. Then, with no provocation, the poop-mobile-driving-son-of-a-bun walking toward you stares you right in the eyes for a good three seconds. His mouth curves into a sneer. You fill with insecurity and anger as you pass him. What was that for? What was he looking at? Did I forget to wear pants again? Am I even real? Am I just a ghost? And now you stumble around campus in a reality-questioning stupor, your head aching with the pain of conflicting thoughts, all because of that stupid, wide-eyed, sneering little jerk-turkey.
Lying laundry machines – The timer said 34 minutes. You’re standing in front of the machine exactly 35 minutes later, expecting to see a big fat zero on the screen, but instead the stupid thing says “4 minutes.” Now you have to stand in front of the machine pretending to look at your phone like a nincompoop until the thing finally stops washing your clothes. My God, life is just so indescribably difficult for a college student.
Featured Image by The Associated Press