Gravity’s Thumb

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Eating a Hearty Breakfast While Listening to English Folk Music – A little French toast, scrambled eggs, sausage, blueberry muffin action always gets us going on a weekend morning. And there’s no better way to enhance the experience than listening to some folk music and twirling a fine wispy mustache. Woolen sweaters and Mason jars are highly recommended but not required.

The Slow Emergence of Spring –  Spring is a lot like the Boston College Bunny Enthusiasts Club. It doesn’t exist. In this part of the world, it’s pretty much winter, winter, winter, oh wait, summer, summer, summer. That little period of “oh wait” is about all we have of spring around here. It’s a strange moment when the sun and the warm temperatures peek around the corner like that man who follows you around campus singing Norwegian folk tunes. It’ll only be here for a short while so enjoy it. Or don’t. It’s just the weather.

Baseball T-Shirts – Who needs a shirt of one color anymore? What are you: a one-color schmuck? No! It’s all about sleeves that are different colors than the torso nowadays. By wearing a baseball T-shirt, you’ll show your friends that you’re a real fly guy who eats pies.

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Whoever Keeps Setting off the Fire Alarm in Walsh – Waking up at two in the morning to the sound of a painfully loud siren warning you that you might die in a fiery inferno is not the best way to spend your precious weekend. Two weeks in a row: 2 a.m. on a weekend night, the residents of Walsh flood out of the doors and form a confused mass while firefighters and police officers rush in. It’s a conglomeration of chaos. Drunken Solo-cup-bearing revelers stumble around on the grass shouting, “Look at me, I’m reveling!” People wearing only towels or bathrobes shiver on the cold cement, their pre-sleep showers interrupted. Droves upon droves of red-eyed sophomores grumble, laugh, and murmur. Just-woken-up, thumb-focused journalists wander around in shorts and sandals, marveling at the scene around them while also cursing whoever keeps doing this. It’s not even early enough for Late Night! Couldn’t you have at least done us the courtesy of screwing around before 2 so we could all go grab some savory mozzarella sticks while we wait? As the next weekend approaches, we’ll all wait in dread, praying that this fire alarm, look-at-me-I’m-screwing-with-a-fire-extinguisher-because-I’m-young-and-wild-and-free thing doesn’t become some terrible weekly exercise. Our nerves just can’t stand it.

The Person Who Goes to Walsh on the Weekends and Decides It’s a Good Idea to Set off The Fire Alarm – Oh, am I repeating myself? Good. Stop doing that. No more.

Standing Outside in the Cold Having Just Woken Up From a Perfectly Peaceful Sleep Because Someone Set Off the Fire Alarm – I’m sure you get it at this point.

Featured Image by Steven Senne / AP Photo

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