Cosmic Irony – Each year, the country’s premier musical artists descend upon the City of Angels, many draped in more outlandish garb than one would think humanly possible. The red carpet is alight with camera flashes and the shining egos of the stars as they parade into the venue. Artists seem to be in competition as to who can give the vaguest answer possible as reporters desperately scramble for an intelligible quote. One can’t help but feel sympathy for the artists who have to attend this showboat affair, but really only care about the quality of the music they create, rather than a golden award and a stage. On a more positive note, however, the universe finally came around, and Lil Chano From 79th finally received the recognition he deserves, although in perhaps the wrong medium. The Grammys have never appeared so out of touch with the reality of the music world as when Chancelor Johnathan Bennett climbed the steps to accept his award for Best New Artist on Sunday. Despite having released arguably one of the best musical projects of the year in 2013, and continuously climbing to national fame ever since, the Grammy committee apparently failed to hear his music until three years later. Although already an accomplished and established musician who has used his spotlight to promote positive political change and messages of unison in a dangerously divisive time in the country’s history, Chance accepted his inappropriate award with grace, because who wouldn’t? Later in the night, the coronation of Coloring Book as the year’s Best Rap Album perhaps made up for the award show’s overlooking of Chance for so long, but I’m still bitter.
Since When Are All You People Dating – The freshman sat in his dorm lounge, reading through the various social media sites he probably cares way too much about in order to avoid starting his homework. Only this night was different. It was the one fateful day of the year when corporate America decided that every single person in the country needed to feel utterly self-conscious. Scrolling down his Instagram feed, the freshman was astounded that every single picture portrayed a happy relationship, most of which he was unaware even existed. Feb. 14 has seemingly become less about actual affection, and more about publicizing that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you know enough about to write a sarcastic caption.
Overpriced Elevation – The two freshmen exited the Comm. Ave. bus outside of Conte Forum, and their feet hit the ground running. It was 9:01 a.m. They were late, although one of them was noticeably unhappier than the other. For both of their sakes, however, the more apathetic freshman picked up the pace, and met the first of the approximately 19 million stairs that led to Gasson. About halfway through the trek, the freshman entered a state of self-realization. He was a freshman, surrounded by upperclassmen, and he was running. The shock of his lack of self-awareness and sheer predictability caused his legs to give out, sending him tumbling down from the heavens to which he was climbing. He awoke four hours later at the foot of the stairs. He opened his eyes, and watched as gaggles of upperclassmen continuously stepped over his broken body.
Featured Image by Zoe Fanning / Heights Editor