Rating the Apps on Macs: TU/TD

Thumbs Up

iBooks – People forget they have iBooks on their Macs. There’s really nothing great about this app—I would be surprised if you told me that you’ve even opened it once—but it’s reassuring to have there, symbolic of education, providing hope, and reminding you that you can, potentially, get work done on this machine that so easily distracts you from the tasks that should be your priorities.

Calendar – It’s just so convenient, with the little icon that always has today’s date on it and all of the holidays ever marked for the next four years (if you scroll to January 2023 right now, the days are all blank. It’s bleak and hopeless—you’ve been warned).

Photo Booth – Remember the effects? Not the new ones with the animations above your head—those are freaky—but the classic effects, like comic book for when 14-year-old you wanted to look retro and hipster, or the one that twirls your face from the middle so that your mouth is completely vertical on the left side of your face, or the Eiffel Tower background one that always somehow cut off the top of your head, or your ears, or the entire right upper quadrant of your face.

Personality Tests – Unrelated, but true. Not only is it a great way to procrastinate, but it’s an even better way to get an organized list of your positive attributes that you can use on your resume. Give one to your roommate so you know who you’re really living with.

Thumbs Down

Pages – Does anyone even use this? Like, ever? Has anyone ever opened this app with the intent to write a paper or report or anything besides, maybe, the developers and their families (who only probably use it out of pity because they know that Microsoft Word and Google Docs are significantly better)?  

Maps – It doesn’t seem as reasonable to have on a computer as it is on a phone. Why do you need a map app on your computer, anyway? Are you driving somewhere with your computer open on your dashboard? That seems dangerous. Why can’t you just open Google Maps on your browser?

iMovie – Unless you’re a 12-year-old making a project for your history class using the “Fairytale” trailer template because it looks the most historical and old-fashioned, you’re probably going to make a tacky clip that is a waste of a minute and a half (except that you’ll have probably spent at least three hours making it because you needed the transitions to match up with the music because, if you don’t have that, you have nothing).

Google Chrome – You’re pretty anomalous if you don’t have Chrome, even though its a separate download. The good thing about Chrome is that the website that doesn’t work on Safari tend to work on Chrome, but that’s all that’s good about it: It’s just a backup browser that has a less appealing appearance and a much creepier knowledge of your preferences.

Featured Graphic by Nicole Chan / Graphics Editor

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