Arts

Couples We Ship

By: Brennan Carley, Taylor Cavallo, and Dan Siering

Elaine and Jerry

Any Seinfeld fan would agree that the flame of this relationship should be rekindled. Having dated before the start of the show (unfortunately, viewers never see the two as an item), Elaine and Jerry remain best friends throughout the nine seasons of Seinfeld, any couple’s dream. Their dry sarcasm and unbelievable wit is no doubt what kept a friendship alive for so long after dating. In Seinfeld‘s second-to-last episode, a plane crash threatens the lives of the infamous quartet, and Elaine and Jerry almost confess their love for each other, but it is never properly articulated. Elaine and Jerry date countless men and women during the show, but never find happiness: probably because they’re meant to be.

Ryan Gosling and Brigitte Bardot

Take present day Ryan Gosling and Brigitte Bardot circa 1956, and what you have is one of the sexiest trans-generational couples a pop culture connoisseur can surmise. Though he’s still relatively new to the game, Gosling’s remarkable 2011 campaign has vaulted him onto the Hollywood A-list and into the minds of female admirers. This sounds strangely similar to what Bardot did in the mid-’50s, when the French actress became a cultural icon overnight and was plastered onto the walls of college frats across the country. These two sex symbols smashed together would bring about a new echelon of celebrity couples that would make Brad and Angelina look like Britney and K-Fed.

JFK and Betty Draper

America’s only “playboy” president and the ideal 1960s housewife: it’s destiny. President Kennedy’s womanizing ways have been speculations and facts for some years now, and he would have no doubt been attracted to Betty Draper, the beautiful, slightly disgruntled upstate New York housewife. Betty Draper has the class and warmth of Jackie O., but is a blonde bombshell, like Marilyn—the president’s two favorite women. In the later seasons of Mad Men, Betty begins dating a politician, so Kennedy’s presidential status would surely be attractive to her. While it is clear that Betty has potential to be a loving, faithful wife, hopefully this hybrid of Jackie and Marilyn could keep Kennedy from cheating, as Betty has had enough of Don’s wandering eye.

Nicki Minaj and Drake

They’ve already collaborated on several successful tracks (“Make Me Proud,” “Moment 4 Life,” and “Up All Night” just to name a few), but we would love to see this super friendly pair couple up. Their chemistry is evident based purely on their joint red carpet appearances and videos of the two goofing around backstage that have surfaced on YouTube. Nicki has demonstrated herself as one of the fiercest rappers in the game, outshining Kanye West, Jay-Z, and Rick Ross on the 2010 smash “Monster,” but showed a softer side on songs like “Super Bass.” Everyone knows Drake is a big old softie too—Take Care is a great album, but it’s more R&B than it is rap. The two Young Money superstars would cozy up quite nicely. Though not quite up to par talent-wise with Jay-Z and Queen Bey, Nicki and Drake are definitely on their way there, if only they would get there together.

James Dean and Lana Del Rey

One only has to look at Lana del Rey to see that she has the nostalgic style, grace, and look of a classic movie star, from the red lips and flawless porcelain complexion to the waved, light brown hair and enviable bone structure. She can’t be paired up with just anyone. Her look requires a certain kind of man—another classic movie star, the 1950s heartthrob James Dean. Del Rey, clearly a blast from the past compared to her fellow female vocalists, needs a man with style reminiscent of an earlier time. Ironically, Del Rey’s video for the single “Born To Die” depicts a car crash in which the singer dies, which is exactly how Dean died. Coincidence? I think not.

Stefon and Seth Meyers

Isn’t it about time that SNL cast member and Weekend Update anchor Seth Meyers finally give into the advances of his faithful news correspondent? Stefan, who has been cluing viewers in on the latest and greatest from the New York ultra-underground scene for years, has expressed endless admiration for Meyers during his time on the show. Meyers has been steadfast in deflecting Stefan’s bizarre advances, but behind that suit-and-tie professionalism we can see that the love is mutual. We can’t think of a better suitor for Seth—Stefan is hip, funny, and has access to all of New York’s hottest clubs.

Tom Colicchio and Padma Lakshmi

Don’t pretend like you haven’t been thinking it for years. The sexual tension between these two Top Chef hotties has been sizzling ever since the show’s second season (Lakshmi’s first) began over 10 years ago. Their repertoire is one of the snarkiest, snappiest, and spiciest ones on reality TV. Sure, there is the little problem of Colicchio’s marriage, but ever since Lakshmi mentioned how one dish’s garlic blossom flavor blast was like “a little prick on my tongue,” her bald co-judge has been giving her the saucer-eyes. Though only one of them has stripped down to skivvies for photo shoots—sorry ladies, it wasn’t Colicchio—both have released fiery cookbooks. It’s clear that both Lakshmi and Colicchio have a burning passion for food—why not turn it into something more?

Connie Britton and Juliana Margulies

Hear me out on this one. You either know Britton from her role as the mother you’ve always wanted to have on Friday Night Lights, or as the emotionally-wrecked housewife turned specter on Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story. You might recognize Margulies from her time on ER alongside George Clooney, but more likely as Alicia Florrick on the best network drama currently airing, The Good Wife. Both women have displayed the ability to crack a joke just as well as they shed a tear, so the pair’s dynamic as a couple would be an interesting one. Theirs would be a modern relationship, juggling kids, work, and awards ceremonies—because in my ideal world, both women would be winning copious amounts of Emmys. The best part? Neither woman would outshine the other. Now that’s a harmonious relationship.

Joseph Gordon Levitt and Zooey Deschanel

Could you possibly think up a more powerful couple within the indie universe? These two starlets originally joined forces in (500) Days of Summer, a rom-com popular amongst the youth that became a definitive launch pad for both actors’ careers. Gordon-Levitt and Deschanel have since remained close friends and have collaborated on several musical numbers, including recent string duet cover of “What Are You Doing New Years Eve?” With J Go-Lev’s suave rock covers and Zooey’s quirky She & Him vocals, these two together would not just rule the silver screen but also be set to become a potent alt-rock duo.

 

February 8, 2012