Connor Mellas and Austin Tedesco have not tried all of these sandwiches. But that’s inconsequential—they are each blessed with highly refined taste palates, guessing abilities, and blind confidence in their decisions. Some of these probably don’t even count as sandwiches. That doesn’t matter. These are the definitive BC Sandwich Power Rankings. Call them stupid, call them unfair, call them whatever you want. They’re not changing.
The rankings were determined by both judges individually ranking the sandwiches 1-39, with the top sandwich getting 39 points. The points were then combined. Here are the results.
39) Banh Mi Sandwich | Lower 4 Pts
38) The Hut Pita Panini | Stuart 7 Pts
37) Meatball Presser | Eagle’s 9 Pts
36) Veggie Presser | Eagle’s 12 Pts
35) Tuna Cheddar Sandwich | Hillside 14 Pts
34) Eggplant Parmesan Presser | Eagle’s 16 Pts
32B) Grilled Goat Cheese And Zucchini | Addie’s 17 Pts
32A) Grilled Fig’N Cheese Panini | Hillside 17 Pts
31) Turkey & Brie Sandwich | Hillside 21 Pts
Mellas: Full disclosure: I have never even heard of the Banh Mi Sandwich. If it was good, I would have eaten one. If it was bad, I would have eaten one. I don’t believe it exists.
Tedesco: Neither do I. This is basically the BC sandwich no-man’s-land. There are a few eggplant parm lovers out there who have already given up on these rankings and that’s okay with me. We don’t need them.
Mellas: See you in Hell, Meatball Presser devotees.
30) Boston Beef Sandwich | Eagle’s 28 Pts
29) Tuna Delight Panini | Stuart 29 Pts
26C) Grilled Cheddar And Tomato Flatbread | Addie’s 30 Pts
26B) Chicken Parmesan Sub | Mac 30 Pts
26A) Chicken Parmesan Sub | Lower 30 Pts
25) Turkey Club Presser | Eagle’s 32 Pts
24) California Turkey Panini | Stuart 33 Pts
22B) Cold Subs | Mac 34 Pts
22A) Cold Subs | Lower 34 Pts
21) Tuscan Veggie Sandwich | Eagle’s 35 Pts
Mellas: Well, we’ve made it through the juncture of last-resort, shortest-line sandwiches. It’s edible territory from here on out.
Tedesco: Shoutout to the cold subs, which have a nice value when everything else requires you to wait and talk to people you’d otherwise BC-lookaway. The chicken parm also has a decent replacement value when the BC Dining staff is waiting on more buff chick from the back.
Mellas: Indeed. Cold subs are the Mario Chalmers of BC Dining.
Tedesco: I once yelled at a cold sub for acting like it was a 50-point sandwich.
20) Grilled Cheddar And Apple Flatbread | Addie’s 37 Pts
19) Chestnut Hill Turkey, Ham, Cheese Panini | Stuart 39 Pts
17B) Chicken Salad Club | Hillside 41 Pts
17A) Italian Presser | Eagle’s 41 Pts
16) Buff Chick Sub | Mac 42 Pts
15) All American Grilled Cheese And Tomato Panini | Hillside 43 Pts
14) Mediterranean Hummus Sandwich | Hillside 45 Pts
13) Monte Cristo Presser | Eagle’s 46 Pts
12) Mediterranean Chicken Sandwich | Eagle’s 47 Pts
Tedesco: We recruited a few anonymous BC biddies to help us appropriately scale these rankings away from being totally bro-centric. That’s how Mediterranean Hummus cracked the top 15. I like hummus, and the one time I saw the Mediterranean Sea it was beautiful, so I’m not complaining.
Mellas: The American Poultry Association recognizes seven breeds of Mediterranean chickens.The more you know.
Tedesco: I’m pretty sure it was my voting that carried the Italian to No. 17 and the Monte Cristo all the way to No. 13. I’m sorry.
Mellas: Never apologize for following your heart.
Tedesco: Grandma Tedesco is sitting in her little Staten Island kitchen surrounded by cold cuts proud as hell right now.
11) Buff Chick Sub | Lower 50 Pts
10) Chicken Salad Club | Stuart 51 Pts
9) Back Bay Club | Hillside 58 Pts
8) Spicy Steak Classic | Eagle’s 60
7) West Coast Chicken Sub | Eagle’s 62 Pts
6) Steak & Cheese | Mac 64 Pts
Tedesco: Very serious appreciation for how appropriately ranked the Mac steak & cheese is here. And the Lower buff chick. The Mac Steak & Cheese is just as incredibly inferior to the Lower version as the Lower buff chick is better than its Mac counterpart. But they both deserve 50-point status to brag about to their friends.
Mellas: Pro tip: If you have an oven or toaster oven, reheat the buff chick. If you get it right, you can bump that sandwich right up into tier two. And if you’re willing to sacrifice your breath for the rest of the day, spicy steak is the play.
5) Grilled Cheese | Lower 70 Pts
4) Tuscan Chicken Sub | Eagle’s 71 Pts
3) New England Classic | Hillside 74 Pts
Mellas: Ah, hello Tuscan Chicken. A year ago, you were my number two. But I suspect a change in your mozzarella quality. Our relationship is good, but just not the same—and others are always interfering with us, showering you in excess balsamic.
Tedesco: Light squeeze on the bottle, back and forth once, and then you’re done. After that, just put the balsamic away.
The only bad thing about a lower grilled cheese is the insane, unnecessary wait that comes along with these two slices of goodness. I like to see it as a positive, though. It makes it feel like you’re waiting on a four-star meal, when you’re actually being continuously hit in the shoulder by a sophomore offensive lineman’s overflowing backpack because the bro keeps waving to everyone he knows.
Mellas: I went through a phase where I came dangerously close to mercury poisoning because I added tuna fish to the grilled cheese every. Single. Day.
Tedesco: Ham and bacon. Can’t go wrong.
We should also mention the New England Classic before we move on.
Mellas: The NEC is the most ingenious sandwich on this list. Who would have thought that a mere slice of apple could carry so much weight.
Tedesco: It also inspired the best media publication at BC. They’re going to give us so much crap for this….
— TheNewEnglandClassic (@theneclassic) September 9, 2014
Mellas: Be gentle, I am weak.
1B) Steak And Cheese | Lower 77 Pts
1A) Baja Panini | Hillside 77 Pts
Tedesco: The exact order of our individual voting is, of course, going to remain secret, but the readers should know that we disagreed here. I had Lower Steak & Cheese in first and you had the Baja. Why?
Mellas: It comes down to a matter of perfection. I have had a perfectly paninied Baja, and it was truly a miracle of taste. Don’t get me wrong—I have literally spent hours of my life waiting in line for the Steak & Cheese, and I have never had a bad one. There’s just something about that Baja, though. I gained 15 pounds off it last year—it’s a part of me forever.
Tedesco: I’ve been meaning to tell you that the extra pounds suit you well.
The Lower Steak & Cheese is really more an experience than a sandwich. There’s an art to ordering it. There’s an art to drunkenly ordering it wrong, but getting a better version anyway. There’s this beautiful, unspoken understanding between you and the Steak & Cheese artist when all you have to do is nod 6 six times and 20 minutes later there’s chipotle, meat, and bread making you forget every unfortunate thing that’s ever happened to you.
And there’s the feeling at 8:34 the next morning when you feel horrible for eating it but don’t regret it at all. That’s how you know it’s real love. I think.
Mellas: I am painfully hungry.
Tedesco: Wanna go grab some lunch? Know any freshmen with meal plans?
Featured Image by Jordan Pentaleri / Heights Graphic