Duck Duck Goose: TU/TD

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New Avian Royalty – Long after the coronation of the Duck Boot royalty on the Heights, a new flying force has arrived on campus. The flock of geese, hailing from the friendly northern region of Canada, has been amassing for weeks. They have assembled a considerable force, riding on the backs of students across campus, their fur collars representing their ferocity and hunting prowess. The Canada Geese are plotting to dethrone the Duck Boot clan, overwhelming them by sheer volume. It seems that the Canada Geese have found a way to infiltrate just about every student at BC, latching on to them while secretly plotting their coup. Thousands of BC parents, concerned by their daughters’ habit of travelling to bars and parties in freezing temperatures wearing less clothing than one might wear on the average summer day, felt inclined to adopt a Canada Goose over Winter Break for their children. Although mom and dad might now sleep easier, they are unaware of the havoc they have sponsored. From atop the Gasson spire, the Duck Boots look down upon the crowds of black and grey puffy jackets, wary of the impending challenge. The Canada Geese and the Duck Boots will soon spread their wings and take to the skies in an aerial battle that will put Top Gun to shame. Sorry, Tom Cruise.

Discovering New Places – I’ve never really been a fan of doing work at coffee shops. I find it crowded, forced, and overall just too cliché to be productive. I often scoff at those doing work at Starbucks while I order my Frappuccino, throwing their work papers across the store and spilling whip cream all over their laptop keyboard. This lets them know that I think what they’re doing is stupid. However, I recently decided to be conformist and became just another olive-colored pant-wearing liberal in a coffee shop, and you know what, I enjoyed it. With my massive peppermint mocha on a white saucer I tore through my essay on The Aeneid, my fingers pounding away as I sat at a table in the corner that was just way too small to fit both a book and a laptop. Why would anyone make a table so small? Let me know. Regardless, with the scent of caffeine in the air and Gavin DeGraw playing overhead, my cliché compadres and I escaped the world for a while in our soft spoken haven.

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Where the Heck Are You – In a frigid winter downpour, the unfortunate freshman struggled to crutch down Comm. Ave. as the rain dotted her spectacles, rendering her blind. She had called EagleEscort about 53 minutes ago, yet still she remained in freezing rain, her clothes soaked, and her spirit broken. Would the fabled white van arrive? She wasn’t around find to out, as Mike in a Toyota Camry arrived four minutes later. Uber saves the day again.

Featured Image by Zoe Fanning / Heights Staff

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