8-Mans and Speaker Phone: TU/TD

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The Final Countdown – Today is the day. All of the pent up agony and testosterone of the freshman class will soon erupt in elation … or in despair. The fabled 8-man pick time, a magical and elusive blessing bestowed upon only a chosen few, will soon find its way to the Agora Portals of lucky groups of Eaglets. Dreams will be realized and spirits will be crushed. Friendships seemingly cultivated and reinforced over multiple months will suddenly crumble and disintegrate into thin air. Awkward text messages and angry conversations will spread across campus like wildfire. The people you consider your closest companions might not be so close to you pretty soon. Think your direct is your best friend? If things don’t go as planned, you might want to think again. At around 1 p.m., a silence will befall Upper and Newton campuses. When the heavily-anticipated email hits the inboxes of the eagerly-waiting freshmen, two cries in unison will be audible across the Heights, one of pure joy, and another of misery. Hundreds of freshmen have already forfeited control of their happiness to a random lottery system that in reality will have little bearing on their lives in four years. Regardless, 8-man pick day goes down as one of the most exciting and infuriating days of everyone’s freshman year, and it’s finally here.

Yogurt Parfaits – Normally, I would advise staying away from the fridge food in McElroy Commons, but one newfound delicacy has recently captivated my appetite. Sitting most commonly on the middle right shelf, Mac’s yogurt parfaits are something special. Combining succulent fruit yogurt and satisfyingly-sweet granola and raisins, this mixture made in heaven provides a quick and easy breakfast alternative to the long breakfast lines right before 9 a.m. classes begin. Kudos to you Mac, for once.

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Why Is Your Phone On Speaker? – Oh, I see that your phone is ringing, it’s kind of loud in this public place, but I suppose you could go somewhere else and answer it. Oh, you’re not going to go anywhere else, you’ll just answer it right here? That’s interesting. Oh, why are you not putting the phone to your face? Oh, you’re putting it on speaker? Well, that’s gonna be tough, everyone in here is talking. Well, I guess not, because there you go, having this public conversation I’m pretty sure you didn’t intend to be public. I guess everyone in this room is going to participate in this conversation with your mother, since you didn’t really give them the choice. I didn’t realize someone could be this oblivious to what is going on around them. I can’t say I’m happy I have to hear about your dentist appointment next week or your uncle’s upcoming wedding, but tell him I say congrats, considering apparently he’s my uncle now too, because this conversation is obviously applicable to my life. It’s too bad I won’t be able to make it.

Featured Image by Meg Dolan / Heights Editor

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