All Sorts of Opinions on Registering for Classes: TU/TD

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Feeling Rested – How often do you wake up and want to get out of bed? Probably never. Maybe once every seven years. Procrastination is the greatest enemy of sleep—it is an artful evil that you think you have under control until you’re bombarded with overwhelming quantities of work. At this point, you’re so sleep deprived that, even when your schedule becomes semi-reasonable again you’ll never be able to return to those normal sleeping patterns that you only experience in your dreams. But then, somehow, one time, as sheer luck would have it, you wake up, and you don’t want to die. You might’ve even gotten only 6 hours of sleep, but some divine being has seen you suffering, and graced you with this one sweet relief.

Getting Ready To Register For Classes – You’ll never have as much control over your academics as when you’re starting to pick classes. There are so many possibilities for you to finally get your act together and stay on top of your work (lol). Who knows, maybe you can even keep your grades up to your standards in those classes (lmao). Although it is exciting to consider the interesting topics that the classes are about and whatever, it’s almost more exciting to think about how great you could be (but probably never will be)! Super fun! So many possibilities! Yeah!!

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Actually Registering For Classes – Unless you have the first registration time ever, you’re not going to get the classes you want. It’s unlikely to ever happen, and you really should realize that before you start making a schedule with all of the perfect classes at ideal times taught by the best professors. Odds are you’re actually going to have a random three-hour break thrice a week in between your 9 a.m. class and your 1 p.m. class, during which you’ll try to get work done but really will spend most of your time waiting in line at the Chocolate Bar because you need to get a caffeinated beverage every twenty minutes to be a normal conscious human being. And remember, this will be months after you spent the most stressful 15 minutes of your life navigating UIS just to register for these crappy classes.

 

Hardcover Books – Hardcover books are merely aesthetic materials that look intellectual and pretty on a bookshelf. Softcover books (except for mass paperback books—they are truly the worst), on the other hand, are much more practical for readers. When I start a book, it’s hard enough to concentrate on the boring introduction, and, being extremely lazy, I find it incredibly frustrating to hold a hardcover book open with one hand when the ratio of pages on either side is ridiculously uneven. Keep them on your bookshelf please.

Featured Graphic by Nicole Chan / Graphics Editor

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