Never Leave Your Room: TU/TD

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Coco – It might be a kids’ movie, but the film has plot twists that would make Law & Order: SVU proud. When Miguel slowly turns into a skeleton as he’s stuck in the land of the dead, you get this unexpected Back to the Future vibe. The coolest part, though, is the amination. FIrst of all, the detail on the skeletons are crazy. If you’re really attentive, you can notice the engraved carvings on their faces, the patterns that paint their skulls. And the spirit animals? So cool. But eventually you also might notice that the skeletons have eyelids. At that point, though, you won’t be able to stop thinking about them and how creepy it would be if they had no eyelids.

Diffusers – Get yourself a diffuser if you want your room to smell like goodness and serenity.

When you don’t leave your room all day – Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a girl, and this girl was kind of a spaz. After a particularly stressful three-day week, she woke up on Saturday morning to the dreariest, coldest, rainiest image outside her window. While her roommates rallied in anticipation for a football game that she’s sure was particularly awful to spectate, the girl remained enveloped in her bed, surrounded by a cocoon of obnoxiously large throw pillows. Her roommates left, and she was alone. Still in her pajamas, she migrated from bed to couch and back again every few hours for the rest of the day. It was perfect.

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When you have to leave your room – This story, however, does not have a happy ending. The girl eventually found herself in a serious predicament. Having had a bagel for breakfast and a large bag of pretzels with peanut butter from her emergency snack stash for lunch, she hadn’t left her room at all for any meals, which she considered her biggest feat. Dinner, however, would unfortunately have to be different. There was no more food in her room that she could pretend was a meal. As the clock ticked and nighttime approached, her stomach grumbled. No matter how hard she tried to fight it, she needed to do something about that final meal of the day. Thus, the extended stretch of time during which she hadn’t left her room ended, bringing with it all of her satisfaction from fulfilling her regular lethargic inclinations.

Baked chips – There’s something about a baked chip that isn’t quite as satisfying as a regular potato chip. It’s never as crisp. It’s always a weird shape. It’s never going to be folded, which is objectively the best chip always. I can find nothing positive about baked chips that regular chips don’t already have.

Featured Graphic by Anna Tierney / Graphics Editor

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