Her block-font titles and abstract covers are strewn across various airport newsstands. Her books line the shelves of local bookstores and fill tables at Barnes & Noble.
Colleen Hoover is obviously young America’s favorite romance author.
Her first movie adaptation, It Ends with Us, was released in theaters earlier this summer and caused multiple controversies.
Blake Lively, who stars in the film as Lily Bloom, has found herself at the center of a whirlwind of bad press. “Not a Girls-Girl” and a “Diva” are some of the names Lively has been called for promoting her haircare line on the press trail for It Ends with Us.
While celebrity drama can be entertaining, these controversies began to overshadow the important subject matter of the film: domestic and interrelationship violence.
I first heard of It Ends with Us briefly through advertisements and billboards, but I hardly registered its release until I saw online that Lively and Justin Baldoni refused to take pictures together at premieres.
Normally, I would say “Who even cares?” and move on. But, every time I opened Snapchat, Instagram, or TikTok, I was bombarded with pictures of Lively and slews of insults defaming her character.
The most compelling advertisement of the movie was the controversies surrounding the cast and author, which distract viewers from realizing this is a sensitive movie for some people. I found it especially frustrating that Lively was at the receiving end of a lot of this commentary because her character is the one being abused in the film. This took away from the important messages of the movie: Support those in need, and end the cycle of domestic violence by making the difficult choice to leave someone who is hurting you, even though you love them.
While I admit I never finished the book, It Ends with Us gained popularity as a romance novel, and not as one about domestic violence. Additionally, Hoover herself has been at the center of a few other controversies, mostly surrounding her hyper-sexual writing. It’s no wonder the film’s domestic violence message was wrapped up in a romance plot without clear writing from Hoover.
Making a joke out of the woman who is experiencing domestic violence, the line “Lily Blossom Bloom who owns a flower shop” is a glaring example of Hoover’s sub-par writing. This name sets Lily up for not being taken seriously because she comes off as childish and unintelligent for having a name like that. Additionally, the film’s song choices came across as obvious and basic: “Strangers” by Ethel Cain, “Cherry” by Lana Del Rey, and “Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby” by Cigarettes After Sex.
Ryle Kincaid (Justin Baldoni) and Lily do, however, do an excellent job of showing how trauma lasts forever if it isn’t dealt with properly. Lily’s own choice to not visit her father before his death shows she never forgave him for the violence he committed toward her mother, but now she’s left with a wound forever unhealed, leaving her vulnerable to more pain in the future.
Ryle’s patient passed away in the same context that his own brother died—again, thank you Hoover for the too-obvious insight into his trauma. Ryle then physically lashes out on a chair, yet he recognizes in his first conversation with Lily that the consequences of this death will “destroy [the surviving child] for life.” Ryle acknowledges his own damaged past and sees how he can be angry and violent, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior.
Ryle’s character development is the primary way that It Ends with Us excels. Ryle is flirtatious and charming, so he is easy to find attractive and alluring. He’s a handsome, tall, wealthy, intelligent neurosurgeon with a penthouse in Back Bay. On the surface, what’s not to like?
When interviewed by Deadline, Baldoni explained he wanted his character to be as lovable as possible to show just how hard it is to be in an abusive relationship. There are good times, there is love, there is kindness, and there is passion. All of that doesn’t disappear the second abuse begins. That’s what makes domestic violence such a challenging topic to discuss: The person hurting you is someone you are in love with.
While it is not stated whether or not Ryle’s father abused his mother, we do know that Lily’s first love, Atlas Corrigan (Brandon Sklenar), watched his mother suffer abuse from her boyfriend. The foil of Atlas and Ryle demonstrates how domestic violence can be either perpetuated or ended.
Atlas watches his mom get abused and he fights back, rendering himself homeless and suicidal, but with Lily’s unknowing intervention, he resolves to join the military and later opens his own extremely successful restaurant. Atlas’ story shows the importance of support systems, and also how it is possible to end the cycle of generational trauma. Atlas was able to further his own self-healing by providing protection and support for Lily in her time of struggle, which he was unable to do for his own mother.
This movie contains both bad and good elements, but my main concern is the unrealistic portrayal of domestic violence. Even though this is a movie, and I don’t expect it to be the exact same as real-life domestic abuse, it strays a bit too far into romanticized domestic violence for my liking. Notably, we get several “Who did this to you?!” moments from Atlas. In real life, there is rarely a man you can go to who will take you in his arms and fix everything like Atlas can for Lily.
Additionally, Ryle’s sister happens to be Lily’s best friend. While she takes Lily’s side, in real life it may be a more complicated situation. It’s an impossible position to find oneself in, and while It Ends with Us leans more optimistically, it does set up an unrealistic expectation that people will support you no matter what. On the other side of that coin, though, this exact optimism makes people more likely to speak up if they are in violent relationships.
The film does a great job of showing how easy it is to stay in an abusive relationship. Victims can make up so many reasons to stay that all sound valid, such as “It was an accident” or “He said he’d change.” When Lily looks at her daughter and decides to get a divorce, the viewer sees that she overcame those reasons and finally understands fully that the only way to move forward is to end the cycle of violence.
It Ends with Us failed to have its desired shock factor like Big Little Lies or Euphoria, but it succeeded in showing the difficult reality of choosing to stay or go and the hopeful possibilities of life after abuse. That’s why movies about domestic violence, even if they are a bit kitschy, retain their importance, as long as the overpowering controversies surrounding them can be left behind.
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