I swear that I’m a good driver. I stop at red lights. I use my turn signal. Every accident I’ve been in has never been found to be my fault. That said, there was one time I slammed into a fence post on my way home from work. I like to block it out of my memory because it undermines my previous claim, but it’s hard to forget—I remember that day so vividly. I had a hectic day at work, and my mind raced in every direction, telling me it was only going to get worse. Then, I hit the fence while The Primitives’ song “Crash” blasted through my speakers. I wish I were making this up.
The song repeats the lyrics: “Here you go, way too fast / Don’t slow down, you’re gonna crash.” As a second-semester senior, those words have begun to take on a new meaning. There are so many things I want to do—solidify the friendships I’ll carry with me after graduation, thank the people who’ve helped me over the past four years, meet new people, rent a book from the library for the first time, and finally tell off the people who have annoyed me beyond reason.
But then I ask myself: is any of that really what I should be doing? What truly matters?
If you’ve been a faithful fan and read my other columns, you know it’s no secret that I can get sick of this place. I find friend groups cliquey, our competitiveness unnecessary, our willingness to spend thousands of dollars to drink with the same people in a different country for spring break to be downright baffling—you get the point.
And I know I’m not alone. Writing for The Heights has been such a gift because of the messages I get from friends and classmates alike: “Hey, Pat, I respect the honesty. I feel the same way too.” I guess it’s that “Connellian Charm” my high school English teacher once coined—I tell a self-deprecating story to ultimately highlight a flaw we all share.
Now, what am I trying to say, and how can I tie this all together? These wishes on my “BC Bucket List,” like climbing Gasson’s spire or confronting the worst crowd of people I hope never find success in their future—they’re trivial. Yup. As much as I’d like to do them and hate to admit it, they ultimately don’t hold much weight.
Truth is, the more we focus on the things we need to check off, the more we probably shouldn’t do them. Subconsciously, we already know what we want. For me, it’s to appreciate the people around me one last time, whether that be through saying “thank you” or simply spending time with them. I know I’d regret it if I checked off that snarky one-liner I’ve been wanting to tell an ex’s friend. I know it would be so satisfying—maybe even better than a Bruce Willis or Clint Eastwood line—but, do I really want to say it? Now, do I, punk?
I’ve learned that letting negativity drag you down just isn’t worth it. I wish I figured that out sooner. Even things you can’t avoid, like the occasional roommate drama, don’t deserve the power to distract you.
I look back to sophomore year, when my roommate and I simply couldn’t stand each other. Flash forward to this year, and we’re living together. We even understand each other better than anyone else in our Mod. Sure, maturity plays a role, but I think it’s because we both subconsciously agreed not to let the negativity get to us. I get it now—you might not do the dishes, but you’ll check in on me when I’m busy, make me laugh, and occasionally make me a delicious plate of wings (which, of course, means I have to do the dishes).
As I said, BC has so much for us to be positive about. Sure, there’s the Nashville chase, the Punta Cana chase, and everything else, but have you ever met a boring person here? Even though I don’t get along with everyone, I can still tell we’re all interesting people. I’d argue that BC students are among the smartest, and most of us, deep down, know how to do the right thing because of our combination of logical and emotional intelligence.
If only I had realized the hardest part of the day was already behind me. Maybe I wouldn’t have pushed myself too far and ended up in an accident. The same could be true for all of us—if we slow down these rampant desires, we might discover that what truly matters is right in front of us, hidden in plain sight.
The things we want to do, and the negative thoughts that race through our minds as we long to see them unfold, can easily lead us to crash. Sure, they seem satisfying—or maybe even like milestones—but appearances can be deceiving. Something as simple as telling off someone you dislike can cause you to take your eyes off what’s important and crash into a fence of your own. The real milestones we should strive for are deeper, not so negative or surface-level.
As The Primitives put it, “Here we go, way too fast.” If we don’t slow down and take a look around, we’re bound to crash.
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