★★☆☆☆
Combining musical talents for the first time, recently engaged couple Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco released their first joint project, I Said I Love You First, on Friday. The album may not be the return to music that long-term Gomez fans were hoping for, but it is here nonetheless.
The album chronicles the couple’s entire love story, from before they met, to falling in love, and then looking into the future.
Despite both singers’ prowess, the album falls flat and is just as insufferable as their posts together on Instagram.
The album opens with a tearful speech from a younger Gomez, thanking everyone who has supported and challenged her since leaving her home in Texas. It is a strange opening for an album supposedly about the couples’ love, feeling more centered on Gomez’s experience than the couple’s.
This sets up an album that is not very cohesive. The best tracks emulate artists like Charli XCX, Lana Del Rey, and even some Taylor Swift melodies. The only part that is easy to follow throughout the tracks is the couple’s love story, but though touching, the artists don’t provide any new takes on the pretty basic theme.
The best song on the album is “Ojos Tristes,” a slower pop song sung in Spanish. The song was written by Gomez, Blanco, and The Marías, featuring The Marías’ lead singer Maria Zardoya for the chorus. The melody and vocals are soothing and satisfying to listen to.
“The boy with sad eyes / Lives alone and needs love / Like the air he needs to see me / Like the sun, I need him,” sings Gomez and Zardoya in the chorus, according to a translation from Capital.
It’s a sweet track dedicated to how the pair complements each other and one of the least cringe-worthy songs on the LP.
Another one of the few strong tracks is “Bluest Flame,” a fun and club-like song given its feature from Charli XCX. Essentially a Charli XCX song, the autotune is the same as the edits done to Charli’s on BRAT, further supported by backing vocal tracks from the singer herself. The track is good, but if this is someone else’s album, the best song on it should not be a carbon copy of another artist’s sound.
Besides these two stand-out songs, the other 12 are pretty big let-downs. They are corny, which can be fine if done well. That is not the case here.
In another copycat moment, the album has two tracks very reminiscent of Del Rey. “Cowboy” and “You Said You Were Sorry” both attempt to emulate Del Rey’s production and sexiness.
“I wouldn’t leave him even if you paid me,” sings Gomez in “You Said You Were Sorry,” likely referencing an ex.
This quickly becomes ironic given that if anyone looks up the couple, most comments are telling Gomez to do exactly that.
Perhaps the worst song on the album, the one that truly tanks it, is “Sunset Blvd.” The song is reportedly about the couple’s first date. In theory, it should be sweet and successfully convey those initial sparks of their relationship.
Instead, there’s a horrendous pre-chorus of “Big, big / Hard heart” repeated in the most sensual, yet childish voice imaginable and an equally bad bridge: “I just wanna touch it, touch it / Try your hardest not to bust it.” Music can, of course, be sexual, but it should at least be somewhat creative.
The nail in the coffin is the interlude “Do You Wanna Be Perfect.” Only 37 seconds, the call-and-response between a voice and Gomez is completely unnecessary to the album. It is millennial-core, shallow, and cringe.
Most of the songs are not the worst on their own, but together they create just a completely average and wince-worthy album that is not worth listening to more than once—if at all.
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