“Change is scary, and there’s nothing that you can do to change a cliché.”
True Love and True Disappointment: TU/TD
“Remember that kid you met that one time at a football game, or at lunch with your friend, who they have a class with? He doesn’t remember you.”
On One Hand, Coffee; On the Other, Soup: TU/TD
“Good luck trying to get anything done now, but, hey, save money, live better, right?”
Zac Efron and the Marathon: TU/TD
“…Zac Efron was at the marathon. I was also at the marathon. Thus, by means of the associative property, I was in the same place as Zac Efron (give or take five miles).”
All Sorts of Opinions on Registering for Classes: TU/TD
“Hardcover books are merely aesthetic materials that look intellectual and pretty on a bookshelf.”
Save Money on Ice Cream and T-Shirts: TU/TD
“Why would you even go out for ice cream when you can just use your dining hall money to pay for ice cream that tastes just as good?”
I Need a Break: TU/TD
“They said a lot of things that they obviously didn’t mean. Who can even trust meteorologists anymore?”
The Worst Toasters, the Best Celebrations: TU/TD
“This resentment for your “toast” will translate to other aspects of your life and at this point, you’re so irritated it will affect you for the rest of your life.”
How Professors Handle Snow Days: TU/TD
“Snow Day Calculator gave it a 99 percent chance specifically for BC—it was basically guaranteed.”
Too Much Caffeine, Too Little Time: TU/TD
“Every time I talk to my grandpa on the phone, he asks me how many extra hours I could use that day.”