Two summers ago, I had one of the best nights of college I can recall. My buddy Seamus and I were invited to our friend’s 21st birthday party. And—full disclosure—we were the James Michael Tylers of the cast of Friends. We knew it and our friend knew it. We were the outside crew. But, knowing where we stood, we agreed it could be fun, so why not go?

Freshman year, it felt almost impossible not to compare everything about my college life to the college lives of my friends at other schools. From classes to dining halls and dorm decor to social life, I found myself constantly comparing and contrasting my experiences with the experiences of others, trying to anxiously convince myself that I lived a life just as fun and fulfilling as my friends’.

There’s even evidence for why reflecting on a past self and predicting our future is such a difficult exercise. While it’s relatively easy to recall our past feelings and recognize the differences between then and now, it’s a much larger struggle to project our own futures.

After two years of existing as a clueless underclassman who can’t tell Stokes North from Stokes South, upperclassman-ship is finally upon me. The glitz and glamor of being a junior is nice, but nobody talks about the instantaneous rush of stress that comes with planning life after college.

Like many others, I have found myself enthralled with TikTok “day in the life” videos. And it’s not a good habit.