"It’s just a backup browser that has a less appealing appearance and a much creepier knowledge of your preferences."

"But hey, at least you’re getting notifications."

"Change is scary, and there’s nothing that you can do to change a cliché."

"Remember that kid you met that one time at a football game, or at lunch with your friend, who they have a class with? He doesn’t remember you."

"Good luck trying to get anything done now, but, hey, save money, live better, right?"