★★☆☆☆
Mary Bronstein’s newest film, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, is an insight into the stresses of motherhood. The film follows Linda (Rose Byrne), a mother and therapist who tries to balance her crumbling life. Dealing with an absent husband and a daughter with a mysterious illness requiring a feeding tube, she rapidly loses her mind, juggling one crisis after another.
This A24 drama/comedy, or really genreless film, came out in a limited theatrical release in the United States on Oct. 10 in a few big cities like Los Angeles and New York City. As the movie screens in more theaters, larger audiences will find themselves relating to how overstimulating being a mother can be.
Linda is first seen with a close-up, a shot congruent with the intensity of the film. She questions her young daughter, but the daughter is never seen. It’s an interesting director’s choice that heightens the drama, especially when the plot revolves around the daughter.
Linda’s stress worsens when a sudden hole in their ceiling forces the two to stay at a motel. Byrne is accompanied by A$AP Rocky, her motel neighbor, and Conan O’Brien, Linda’s therapist, who works in the same building. The two stars and Byrne make for an interesting cast.
Despite A$AP Rocky’s limited acting experience, he branches out from his rapper lifestyle and provides a sort of comic relief. His character, James, exists as a nonchalant guy who lends Linda a helping hand when she’s let down by those around her.
As James is introduced, he ironically tells Linda, “You guys look just like twins,” while the daughter’s appearance remains a mystery to the audience. Partially labeled as a comedy, there were no real laughing moments besides a few moments of dark humor.
Byrne depicts the panic and exhaustion of her character overtly. With sleep deprivation and the pressure of feeding her daughter enough calories to fight off a metabolic disorder, she is in a constant cycle of dread and anxiety. Smoking and drinking are her only escape, along with her counselor, who listens but doesn’t help.
“I’m supposed to know how to fix her!” she exclaims in a breakdown to him.
It becomes increasingly tense for the viewers to watch the dysfunctional mother spiral. At one point, she confesses to having been pregnant twice and aborting the first one, wondering out loud if maybe she got rid of the wrong one.
Amid the mystery of her unseen daughter and the motif of the hole in her house, Linda’s motivations are never revealed. A flawed character whom we are meant to sympathize with, Bronstein seems to depict her as a messy mother, even at times when she has no reason to stress. While she could stay on her couch instead of the motel or just get a good night’s sleep like her therapist suggested, Linda continues stressing herself out and coping through vices.
The film differs from other A24 productions like Everything Everywhere All at Once, but has an intense feel like The Substance. What sets If I Had Legs I’d Kick You apart is how it deals with a relatable issue realistically. But I consider all three movies one-time watches.
If I Had Legs I’d Kick You presents a hurricane of emotion and expression, despite an unclear plot meant to invoke anxiety in the audience. With bizarre writing and shots of Linda’s daughter oddly absent, Bronstein allows viewers to interpret the film’s meaning, and Byrne steps out of her usual comedic role to deliver an Oscar-winning dramatic performance.
