It’s nearing the end of your sophomore year, and you haven’t landed an internship yet.
You’re freaking out internally, doomscrolling on LinkedIn, and seeing one post after the other with the same formulaic phrasing: “I’m excited to announce I have accepted an offer…” You think you’re incredibly behind, as you haven’t even had an interview for a position yet, let alone put in an application.
This is a common phenomenon on campus. If you relate, you are not alone. The culture at Boston College puts immense pressure on students to fit a specific mold and stick to a set timeline.
Whether it’s your career or internship progress, what you wear, who your friends are, or even what you’re doing on a Friday night, it can feel like everyone else at BC has things figured out. Everyone except you.
But what if I told you that you can shift your mentality and avoid going down the rabbit hole of comparison culture at BC?
Define Your Priorities
The truth is, the milestones you see on LinkedIn or hear about in passing aren’t universal markers of success—they’re just someone else’s priorities. It’s important to recognize that.Instead of comparing your own progress to someone else’s accomplishments, take a step back to discern what actually matters to you. Perhaps your main priority this semester is exploring your interests instead of committing to a set career path, or maybe it’s focusing on academics, your friendships and family, or your mental health.
Identifying your own priorities, regardless of what they are, and focusing on yourself and your own path, is an important step in breaking out of the comparison mentality.
Practice Celebrating Other People Without Diminishing Yourself
Envy is not a good look, and more importantly, it’s not healthy for you. In an environment where accomplishments are constantly flaunted, it can be easy to see a peer’s success as a reflection of your own shortcomings.
However, someone else getting an IB internship at J.P. Morgan or showing off their fun-filled weekend on an Instagram story is not indicative of how your life should be playing out.
Being able to celebrate others’ wins while also maintaining confidence in your own path is a powerful mindset shift. In fact, the more you practice cheering on others without comparing their successes to where you are, the healthier your relationship with achievement becomes.
Psychologists even have a term for this kind of positive, complimentary empathy: freudenfreude. Practicing it reaps a host of benefits, and it might just boost your mental well-being as much as whomever you’re complimenting.
Limit the Moments That Trigger Comparison
In a world dominated by social media, it’s nearly impossible to shut everything out. Details of everyone’s lives are accessible with just the touch of a fingertip, and with that comes the inevitable sense of FOMO.
This repeated exposure to people’s carefully curated snapshots of their lives makes it hard to avoid comparison.
Being cognizant of what sets off these comparison spirals can make a huge difference. Take the time to distance yourself from social media by muting specific accounts that make you feel worse about yourself or your progress. Or, set time limits on certain apps to prevent you from serial scrolling.
By implementing these small boundaries, you can protect yourself from falling into the mental trap of feeling behind.
Remember That Everyone’s Path Looks Different
Success isn’t linear—it comes in all different patterns. At a school like BC, it can seem like there’s one set timeline we as students are expected to follow, but that is not the case.
There is no right or wrong path to life. Some people discover their interests early, while others take time to explore different paths before finding the right fit. Someone else’s progress is not a way to measure your own.
Focus on your own priorities and progress, and permit yourself to grow at your own pace. Implementing these mentality shifts into your daily routine truly goes a long way.
